My New Beginning.

I've been having a rough time these past two weeks. Some hidden emotions have started bothering me again, & I've finally hit my breaking point. Sooo many people - including myself - go through things & try to hold it in... Not knowing that we are really hurting ourselves. I won't go in to detail, but some very painful things happened to me when I was 14-15. I am now 19 years old. I never took the time to deal with my issues, so they've been buried deep inside for a very long time. A few nights ago I had a 3-4 nightmares, but they were all involving the same person. After this happened, I knew it was time to deal with it. So I decided to seek professional help. Tomorrow is my first "meeting", so I'm now referring to tomorrow as "the 1st day to my new beginning." Holding on to the past will hold you back from ALOT of things. Not being able to sleep at night has caused me to lose the focus & motivation I once had to lose weight & eat properly. Some people may view that as an excuse, but until you've been in my shoes - don't judge me. I know a lot about excuses, & what I'm going through right now is FAR from an excuse. I am ready to change my life for the better. So tomorrow morning I will wake up. I will eat a healthy breakfast. & I will work out. I will hold nothing back in therapy. & I will do my BEST to make sure tomorrow is better than today.

without struggle, there is no progress.

Update!!

I'm still alive! =P

I'll start by saying this week hasn't been the best. I did lose a pound, so I'm down to 161. I can't wait to get in the 150's. My motivation seemed to disappear this week, but I haven't given up. I've been craving sweets, & bad food - which I believe is a result of my TOM coming soon. My TOM hasn't stopped by since December (b/c I quit birth control for a month) so I think my body is having a hard time re-adjusting. It's okay though, because a loss is a loss. I'm at an 8 pound loss so far since January 1st. I plan to be completely back on board next week. I attempted to start my second round of the 30 Day Shred this week, but I'm just going to wait until Monday. Hopefully I can get through the full 30 days with no breaks. I did try 6 Week 6 Pack & Killer Buns and Thighs, and they are TOUGH. I'm excited to see some awesome results since I'll be combining all 3 dvds.

Oh, and on another note... I received some really good news last Friday. Since my job was sent over seas, I have been given the opportunity to go to school for 2 years. FOR FREE! Yes, I said for free. I'm allowed up to $20,000 so I won't even have to pay for books. I've decided to go back to my hometown of Augusta, GA! My parents have a house down there, so after a few months I hope to move in. For now, I'll be getting my own apartment. I'm really hoping that my babe will come along! Since I'll be leaving in May (for summer school), I'm really motivated to hit 140-145. That's 2 & a half months to lose 16-21 pounds. I think I can do it!! I would love to focus more on school vs. focusing more on losing the weight. We'll see how that goes!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week.

Did Anybody Say .... Cookies???

How fantastic do these look?

I woke up this morning craving something sweet. It didn't matter what it was, I just wanted something sweet. Cake, cookies, ice cream... Anything! So, I was going to stop by Subway on my way home and grab a cookie, until I looked up the calories. Then I decided I would try to make my own cookies. I really wasn't feeling chocolate chip cookies, so I decided to try M&M cookies. I mean, you could add any candy to this cookie & it would still be great. When I buy Nestle cookies, I normally eat 3-4 (big cookies). I was full just having 1 big & 1 small cookie. SCORE! Anyway, here goes the recipe...

Ingredients:

1/3 cup light butter ( I used Blue Bonnet )
1/3 cup light brown sugar
8 Splenda Packets
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 egg
3/4 cup All Purpose Flour
1&1/2 ( 1.5 ) tsp Baking Powder ( or 1/2 tsp Baking Soda )
1/8 tsp Salt
1/4 cup M&Ms ( 1small bag from the store is exactly 1/4th of a cup )

Preparation:

Set the oven to 350 degrees. Mix the ingredients together. Bake for 10-12 minutes.

Now to the "good" stuff...

1 Big Cookie

Calories: 223
Carbs: 33
Fat: 8
Sugar: 20

1 Small Cookie

Calories: 112
Carbs: 17
Fat: 4
Sugar: 10

...Of course this isn't a snack you can have everyday, but everyone has a sweet tooth once in a while.

Enjoy!

Is This Really Me?

... I'm not the girl I used to be.

30 Day Shred Results!!!

Starting Weight = 169lbs.
Ending Weight = 162lbs.

01/01/12:
Upper Waist = 32"
Lower Waist = 34"
Hips = 38"
Right Arm = 12.5"
Left Arm = 12.5"
Right Thigh = 24"
Left Thigh = 24.5"

02/01/12:
Upper Waist = 31.5" ( -0.5" )
Lower Wast = 31.5" ( - 2.5" )
Hips = 37" ( -1" )
Right Arm = 12.5" ( -0 )
Left Arm = 12" ( -0.5" )
Right Thigh = 23 ( -1 )
Left Thigh = 23.5 ( -1 )


Total Weight Loss = 7lbs
Total Inches Loss = 6.5in

I started the 30 Day Shred on 12/27/11 and completed it on 01/31/12. It took me a total of 35 days.

I wanted to add a picture from when I first started my "journey" in May 2011. I was 169lbs here as well. But I was more fat than muscle!

Ok, here's the good stuff. I don't really see a difference at all, but oh well. Here goes nothing...




BEFORE

AFTER

Round 2 starts today! Thanks for reading :)