Many Months Later ♥

Whewww, it's been a longgg time since I've written a post on here! A LOT has happened. A little over a year ago, I decided to go away to college. I moved 92 miles away, and it was just me. No family and only 2 friends. I got a kitten (Kiko) who is now a little over a year old. & I must say, I'd be a different person without her. A year went by, I did GREAT my first 3 semesters (Summer '12, Fall '12, and just finished Spring '13). My first semester I finished with 3 B's, 1 A, and a GPA of 3.25. I didn't make the Deans List. But, this was my first time back in school after 2 years. My second semester I finished with all A's and a GPA of 4.0, and my third semester I did the exact same thing. I made the Dean's List twice! It feels really good. I was given the opportunity to obtain a 2 year degree absolutely free. Tuition, books, supplies, ect. Everything is taken care of. So I took the chance, and succeeded. Now, I moved closer to my family - still living on my own - and I love it. Even though I'm sad that I have to transfer schools in the Fall, I wouldn't trade being home for anything in the world. Summer '13 will be my last semester at Augusta Technical College.

Sooo, outside of school.. I have gained weight. & There is no excuse for it. But there are reasons. Being extremely lonely and sad all the time did attribute to my weight gain. I did go to the gym, but not as often as I should have. I stopped eating out for a little bit, but started up again shortly after. I worked out at home, and then I stopped for no reason. I missed my family, and I had no clue how to deal with it. Every day I woke up, I was by myself. I went to school for a few hours, but that was it. I didn't have any friends to go out with on the weekends, and I am always afraid to do things by myself. So I was stuck in the house all the time, pretty much miserable. I would try to keep myself busy by doing homework and studying, but it just didn't help. So now that I am finally happy and content again, I know it is time to give this thing another try.

If I continue to sit on my butt and eat unhealthy, of course I will continue to gain weight. But if I get up and move, and start watching what I eat & having smaller portions, of course I will lose weight. It is very simple. I am not the kind of girl who can eat lettuce and be happy. I have to treat myself here and there, and I know how to do that without going over board. Once I get control of my eating, it is not a problem. My problem is getting up and excersing. But it's crazy because I love excersing. I love dancing, walking, boxing, ect. If it's fun, I love it. All I need to do is give myself that push and keep going again.

In my life, right now, all I have to really focus on is school. So this is the perfect time to get my life and goals on track. I am home, I am very close to my family (literally 4-5 miles), I am close to my friends, I have a gym, DVDs, a pool.. I have everything I need to do this the right way. It is time to do this. It is time to get this right.

I don't have a goal weight. I hate the scale. I gain muscle, lose fat. But the number on the scale either stays the same or goes up. I like taking measurements. If I see a loss, I know I'm doing something right. So my goal is to be happy with the body I am.

I have to treat my body right because it is mine. No one else can do this for me.

Wow. It's been a long time...

It's been a long time since I've checked in. I didn't completely fall off the wagon, but I did have a few bad months. However, giving up was never an option!

I moved. I'm about 90+ miles away from "home". I start college on May 21st. & I'm doing good. I'm a little home sick, but I'm holding up. Within the next hour I'll be on my way to check out a new gym. I'm not sure what my "fitness goals" are anymore. I had a specific weight set in my head, but I just want to be happy with the way I look. My body will never be perfect. There will always be something I feel like I need to work out, so perfection is not what I'm looking for.

I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH THE WAY I LOOK.

I guess that's my new fitness goal.

Here's me. A little over a year from when I started.



That girl on the right... That's a much happier me. Not a completely satisifed me. But a much happier me.

I hope everyone is doing great. Keep up the awesome work! We can do this.

Yes. I love my curves! So what?

Checking In. . .

I haven't been blogging lately, but I will provide an update. February was a very hard month for me, & I loss track of everything. I was focusing more on overcoming and dealing with a situation that happened in the past. Last week ( Monday - Thursday ), I was in Augusta getting everything ready for school. It's hard to watch what you eat without the tools you normally have at home. I have to go back next week, but after that, I'll be at home until the middle of May. This week I'm starting to track my calories again, & I will start working out again today. I won't start any workout dvds since I'll be gone next week, but when I come back I think I'm going to start 6 Week 6 Pack. I changed my goal weight to between 130 and 135 - instead of 125 - because I want to keep my curves, and I want a little meat on my bones. I would like to be around 135, and toned. I recently purchased "The New Rules of Lifting For Women", so I'm excited to start lifting weights again!

Here's something I will be doing everyday...

Cheers to blasting fat! I hope everyone has a fantastic week.

My New Beginning.

I've been having a rough time these past two weeks. Some hidden emotions have started bothering me again, & I've finally hit my breaking point. Sooo many people - including myself - go through things & try to hold it in... Not knowing that we are really hurting ourselves. I won't go in to detail, but some very painful things happened to me when I was 14-15. I am now 19 years old. I never took the time to deal with my issues, so they've been buried deep inside for a very long time. A few nights ago I had a 3-4 nightmares, but they were all involving the same person. After this happened, I knew it was time to deal with it. So I decided to seek professional help. Tomorrow is my first "meeting", so I'm now referring to tomorrow as "the 1st day to my new beginning." Holding on to the past will hold you back from ALOT of things. Not being able to sleep at night has caused me to lose the focus & motivation I once had to lose weight & eat properly. Some people may view that as an excuse, but until you've been in my shoes - don't judge me. I know a lot about excuses, & what I'm going through right now is FAR from an excuse. I am ready to change my life for the better. So tomorrow morning I will wake up. I will eat a healthy breakfast. & I will work out. I will hold nothing back in therapy. & I will do my BEST to make sure tomorrow is better than today.

without struggle, there is no progress.

Update!!

I'm still alive! =P

I'll start by saying this week hasn't been the best. I did lose a pound, so I'm down to 161. I can't wait to get in the 150's. My motivation seemed to disappear this week, but I haven't given up. I've been craving sweets, & bad food - which I believe is a result of my TOM coming soon. My TOM hasn't stopped by since December (b/c I quit birth control for a month) so I think my body is having a hard time re-adjusting. It's okay though, because a loss is a loss. I'm at an 8 pound loss so far since January 1st. I plan to be completely back on board next week. I attempted to start my second round of the 30 Day Shred this week, but I'm just going to wait until Monday. Hopefully I can get through the full 30 days with no breaks. I did try 6 Week 6 Pack & Killer Buns and Thighs, and they are TOUGH. I'm excited to see some awesome results since I'll be combining all 3 dvds.

Oh, and on another note... I received some really good news last Friday. Since my job was sent over seas, I have been given the opportunity to go to school for 2 years. FOR FREE! Yes, I said for free. I'm allowed up to $20,000 so I won't even have to pay for books. I've decided to go back to my hometown of Augusta, GA! My parents have a house down there, so after a few months I hope to move in. For now, I'll be getting my own apartment. I'm really hoping that my babe will come along! Since I'll be leaving in May (for summer school), I'm really motivated to hit 140-145. That's 2 & a half months to lose 16-21 pounds. I think I can do it!! I would love to focus more on school vs. focusing more on losing the weight. We'll see how that goes!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week.

Did Anybody Say .... Cookies???

How fantastic do these look?

I woke up this morning craving something sweet. It didn't matter what it was, I just wanted something sweet. Cake, cookies, ice cream... Anything! So, I was going to stop by Subway on my way home and grab a cookie, until I looked up the calories. Then I decided I would try to make my own cookies. I really wasn't feeling chocolate chip cookies, so I decided to try M&M cookies. I mean, you could add any candy to this cookie & it would still be great. When I buy Nestle cookies, I normally eat 3-4 (big cookies). I was full just having 1 big & 1 small cookie. SCORE! Anyway, here goes the recipe...

Ingredients:

1/3 cup light butter ( I used Blue Bonnet )
1/3 cup light brown sugar
8 Splenda Packets
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 egg
3/4 cup All Purpose Flour
1&1/2 ( 1.5 ) tsp Baking Powder ( or 1/2 tsp Baking Soda )
1/8 tsp Salt
1/4 cup M&Ms ( 1small bag from the store is exactly 1/4th of a cup )

Preparation:

Set the oven to 350 degrees. Mix the ingredients together. Bake for 10-12 minutes.

Now to the "good" stuff...

1 Big Cookie

Calories: 223
Carbs: 33
Fat: 8
Sugar: 20

1 Small Cookie

Calories: 112
Carbs: 17
Fat: 4
Sugar: 10

...Of course this isn't a snack you can have everyday, but everyone has a sweet tooth once in a while.

Enjoy!